


ringo being made fun of for over 2000 words

by IAmTheQueenofMyself



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Abduction, Angry John Lennon, Blood, Child Prodigy Character, Drugs, Genderswapping, George Harrison Is a Good Friend, Gymnastics, Humor, Hurt Ringo Starr, Light Bondage, Male Nurses, Monsters, No Sexual Content, OC Villains, Other, Paul Being Girly, Protective John Lennon, Punch-Clock Villain, Ringo Wields A Katana, Slapstick, katanas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmTheQueenofMyself/pseuds/IAmTheQueenofMyself
Summary: but sometimes he or other people won't take that shit.
Relationships: Brian Epstein & John Lennon, George Harrison & Ringo Starr, John Lennon & Ringo Starr
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know there are other fics that pick on Ringo but...  
> I had to.

**1\. Heights**

“It’s pretty high up ‘ere!” George frightenedly noted, his body shaking as he held onto the tall diving board’s metal rail. 

“Don’t be a Ringo!” John loudly demanded, frowning as his arms were crossed on his chest. As Ringo frowned at him from behind, John ordered, “JUMP!”

George quickly hopped off the diving board, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, and hugging his knees, going for a cannonball. 

Water went up into the air, almost hitting the audience as John chuckled almost evilly to himself, “Heh, heh, ataboy Georgie,” 

Ringo, obviously unamused with what John spat at him, flicked the latter on his nose. 

John covered his nose, crying out in pain, “Ow!” 

“I’m not a chicken!” Ringo cried out. 

**2\. “Your drummer.”**

The zookeeper found himself on the elephant’s back, mounting it as he would to a camel. “You see, elephants are one of the few animals that have the largest noses in the world; another animal to have the largest nose in the world is your drummer,”

And immediately, a leather shoe was thrown at the man, right on the left side of his head. “OW!” 

“No one makes fun of Ringo but me!” John shook his fist at the man as he sat in the front row seat. 

**3\. Ledge.**

The door opened, and George stood at the front with John on his right and with Paul on his left. “Ritchie!” 

Ringo stood on the ledge, mouth elongated, trying to keep himself balanced as his nose was almost pointing to the street below him. The three men ran straight for him, not wanting him to fall off. 

There was a cackle, and the masked ringleader appeared from the side of the building. Smiling sinisterly, he revealed a cage with a toucan and placed on the ledge by him. John turned his head and paused himself, beginning to glare at the man who was causing havoc and was about to let the trapped bird free. 

“Oh no, you don’t!” John snapped at him, marching towards him, lifting one sleeve. 

The masked ringleader let out a breathy, nasty, laugh, as the bird was released into the air. Growling, John grabbed the man’s neck and began to ring it. The masked ringleader cried out, not enjoying how the guitarist was about to gut him alive like a fish. 

“Gotcha!” Both Paul and George breathed, both holding onto Ringo before he could fall off, finally. The toucan flapped his large black wings, flying by Ringo as he let out a loud croaking sound. Ringo snapped his head towards it and awed; unfortunately, the toucan snagged one of Ringo’s rings from his right hand. 

“ ‘Ey!” Ringo cried out, unamused, taking a step to get his ring back, but soon fell from the ledge, indirectly bringing George along with him; the latter cried out, his hair whipping up in the air.

“No!” Paul shrieked as loud as a female opera singer, grabbing onto George’s waist as his waist went past the ledge with his knees locking against it. The bassist strained himself, trying to pull both of his bandmates up. 

“Joooohnnnnn!” Paul screeched to his older bandmate. 

**4\. Nurse.**

“Alright, Mr. Lennon, if you need anything, Nurse Starkey will be right around,” told Dr. Epstein, holding his clipboard under his armpit. 

“Nurse Starkey?” John parroted, one brow lifted upon his forehead. Deep down, he imagined Nurse Starkey being a young, greenhorn woman coming to take care of him. Sadly…instead, immediately, a young, short man appeared through the door. His eyes were blue, more than the scrub shirt and pants on his body. 

John gawked, leaning his body away from the horizon, frowning. “A man nurse!? Oh hell-to-the-nah!” 

Nurse Starkey’s eyes tightened, his fists balling by his sides. 

A bowl and a wave of oatmeal crashed upon John’s head about two seconds later; John’s was mouth extended, as his shoulders were close to his ears as his hands were up, looking like pinchers. Nurse Starkey was frowning, obviously unimpressed with what was spat at him. Dr. Epstein was scared out of his wits; normally, Nurse Starkey was a calm, quiet, young man. 

**5\. Katana**

The short man zipped the curved edge across the monster’s chest, letting purplish-black blood erupt as it showered over Ringo’s neck and chest. The monster threw its head back, letting out a harsh scream past its sharp disgusting teeth. Ringo brought the blade down both of its forearms and shins, letting more blood and screams erupt. Ringo would have felt pity for it, but he shot his left foot at its neck, sending it down to its bottom. The short man front flipped and planted both of his boots on its chest, and aimed his katana at the monster’s head, however— 

An extremely long, extremely slick purple appendage erupted from its mouth, striking Ringo in the chin. The latter cried out, being sent a few feet away from the monster, landing on his back. His katana erupted out of his hand. 

“My katana!” Ringo cried out, watching it slide down the hall, edge pattern encountering the dirty wall. Ringo quivered, starting on his boot tips, wanting to get some distance away from the monster. 

Unfortunately, the appendage rapidly wrapped around Ringo’s forehead, chest, and arms, keeping him rather immobile. The short man’s eyes widened, as the monster’s appendage levitated him from the ground, causing Ringo to pull out a dagger from his coat pocket. It slipped it under the part that bound his forehead, ripping it through; as the monster bellowed out in pain, Ringo fell on his bottom, the part of the appendage that bound his chest becoming as loose as paper-ribbon. 

Disgusted, Ringo flung the slicky item away from his body. He quickly ran and recollected his katana, before cartwheeling twice to where the monster was. While in the air, he raised the blade and crying out, Ringo harshly struck it in between the monster’s two eyes, blood flowing up the katana’s edge and groove. The monster cried out for the last time as if knowing it had been defeated by the short man who bore blood all over his face and eyes. 

Ringo narrowed his eyes, feeling no sympathy for the monster—why should he?

It was responsible for ripping off George’s foot.


	2. Chapter 2

**6\. Where Did You Go?**

“With the little Beatles gone from the show, nothing will stop me from making the denizens of this town be my slaves!” The masked ringleader ringed very merrily, flecking some of his red hair away. 

…

“There he is,” Blue-Shirt told his companion, watching the drummer run panickily towards the bathroom. "I’ll get him, take care of the cameras,”

Red-Shirt nodded. 

Blue Shirt hurriedly walked to where the bathroom was, as Red-Shirt pulled out a can of spray paint and painted all over the corner-situated camera. 

About two minutes later, Blue-Shirt came around the corner, hissing as he held onto his right cheek. A certain drummer was draped over his shoulder, a black sack covering the latter’s head as his legs kicked against the former’s chest. 

“What’s the matter with you?” Red-Shirt asked his companion. 

“This one’s much meaner than anticipated; he socked me with his left foot,” Blue-Shirt propped his shoulder up once, demanding the drummer to quit before things got worse for him. 

After Ringo was shoved into a large chest and shoved into a limousine, the brutes carried him into the large building where the gang was situated; the ringleader’s apprentice came and bound Ringo’s hands behind his back, fastened his chest down to the back of a chair and bound his ankles together and situated them behind the rod that was in between the chair’s legs; lastly, he tied a black cleave gag around his neck, all with knots that he had learned from the Boy Scouts. All throughout, the apprentice secretly pitied the drummer; of course, the drummer was not the tallest tree in the forest, but this was too immoral for him. 

When it was done, the masked ringleader and his cronies stood before the restrained drummer, most of them satisfied with their work.  
…  
“Don’t you boys worry about a thing,” the detective told the remnants of the British rock band. “The Red Puppeteer-men rarely ever kill their hostages,”

Paul sighed out of relief as John turned his head, raising his brows up. 

“They do like to let them suffer though,” the detective’s partner said, albeit sort of darkly. 

“Then we gotta find their base o’ operation and get there quick!” George declared, stretching out his arms. 

…  
The drummer carefully placed his ankles before the rod and slowly rose his body up, bringing the chair along with him. He grunted under the gag, already knowing how he was going to escape; he threw the side of his body to the dirty rotten floor, and forcefully with a muffled n’yaaah! Ringo found his head almost touching a dirty wrapper where a beady rat scurried away from. 

“Oh shoot,” the masked ringleader’s young apprentice gasped, having seen what the drummer did through the monitors. The drummer was then seen running up the stairs, right to the ceiling of the building. 

The masked ringleader came behind his apprentice, seeming rather irked, but he gleefully bellowed, “Oh don’t worry, little drummer boy won’t get too far!” 

Ringo ran through the doors, hair flowing in the air, then appearing awestruck. 

He was stranded on the ceiling of the twenty-story building… and other than his kidnappers, no one else knew about it. 

**7\. Gameshow**

A large, thick rubber ball clashed against Ringo’s left temple, causing the drummer’s eyes to roll back, his back falling to the side as his arms flailed up. 

The host cupped his mouth, flinching every time the drummer crashed against any of the equipment that was right below of the stage, not wanting to imagine what pain the drummer possibly felt while. John’s arms were folded, shamefully shaking his head all throughout the unfortunate debacle; Paul held onto the former’s arm, biting his lower lip; George had his eyes at the floor, pitying the drummer who was a victim of his own rotten luck. 

A dull ‘thump!’ erupted, insinuating that Ringo had finally landed on the floor on some plane of his body. However, he possibly unconscious by now. 

“I’ll go get him…” George went to where Ringo was situated. 

“Someone call an ambulance!” The host panickily demanded the audience.

**8\. Shame.**

Her hair was hay colored, thick, and very curvy as it strung past her shoulders; her dress was bright lemon yellow as her bust was just large as any exceptionally large fruits. Her hips were about the same size as a watermelon as below her legs were nimble but very sturdy. 

“Who are you, darlin’?” John lecherously smiled, walking over to the strange young woman, touching her left arm. The strange young lady giggled, biting her tongue at John’s flirtatious movement. 

“Your drummer, only he’s been morphed into a very busty young lady,” The scientist told John, putting his right hand on the young lady’s shoulder. 

“AHHH!” John shrieked, completely mortified of what was just relayed to him; while Paul’s jaw dropped immediately, arms loosened and hanging down by his sides; George dazedly rubbed his arm, wondering, “H-h-how?”

“It’s easy, I gave him some of this syrup that is supposed to help people breathe underwater better,” the scientist picked it up from the table and handed it over to them, Paul taking it, “but apparently, it changed his gender instead!” 

“You did have Ringo’s consent, right?!” John hollered, as Paul left his fellow bandmates to another part of the room. “If you didn’t, that’s just grimy!” 

“No worries, though, like with my last concoctions, the effects only lasted for a week, so he would be back in no time!” The scientist assured with a flap of his hand.

“What? Only a week? What shame!” Came a voice, even higher than everyone else’s in the room. John, George, the scientist, and female Ringo turned to where the voice erupted.

It was Paul, only with long, shiny, glossy ebony hair that went down to her spine. A white ring sat on her neck, connecting it to a teal blue shirt, making her bust almost as big as the turned drummer’s marvelous set. Her skirt was white and covered her thighs, making her hips almost as pronounced as her turned-bandmate’s.

John’s mouth was pulled down as George’s head was tilted down, a perplexed mask on his face. 

“What?” Paul’s female version inquired, raising a brow at-now!-her bandmates. John and George gazed right at each other, not believing what was playing right before them!

“With some Styrofoam and duct tape no one will ever notice!” The former bellowed, turning to his now female bandmates. 

**9\. Oh my.**

Richard picked up the bag laden with cocaine from the table, running out of the room, looking both ways, making sure no one was walking around for anyone in this building could be the bag’s owner. 

He hurriedly opened the front door, and ran down the sidewalk, hoping to find the nearest body of water. Richard’s lip was bitten while, zipping past the trees and very few people that were by. There was at least one woman and one man, as the former quickly strode out of the young man’s lifting both of her arms up as a reaction. 

Richard turned to the left and much to his luck, a river was nearby. He stopped himself in front of it, and quickly, dropped the bag into the water, a medium-sized splash erupting. The bag fell and down, spooking fishes away with its sudden arrival. 

“There,” the young man breathed, looking at the water below. “That thing is gone and won’t be able to hurt anyone!” 

With that, the young man deeply breathed and turned, when he came face to face with two men, one tall and thin and one short and round. The former was frowning at Richard as if he saw him pour acid into several rare and exotic plants. His partner, on the other hand, was breathing silently yet rapidly to himself, watching Richard with attentive eyes. Richard’s eyes went wide, somewhat still frozen in place, knowing that something rotten will erupt. 

“You’re in for it boy, don’t think we didn’t see what you’ve done with our goods,” the tall man, Foot, breathed at him, albeit deathly laced. He pulled Richard by the nose, Richard crying out as a response, dragging him away so he could attain his punishment. 

**10\. Gorilla**

John burst through the door, frowning as a gorilla mask was glued onto his neck, “RINGOOO!” 

The drummer giggled, setting his hand puppet of George on the table. “Oh, John, did you forget your makeup, again?” 

John growled under the mask, hopped onto his two feet, and pounded his fists on his chest, like an actual male gorilla. 

Ringo whimpered. 

John launched himself at Ringo’s shrunken state, punches and screams radiating throughout the entire kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9 came to me in a dream; someone finds a bag of drugs and quickly dumps it into the water!

**Author's Note:**

> I welcome your anger with open arms.


End file.
